I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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