Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
