would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dignity is for republicans.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
