Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
