My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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