she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
