She said her name was "party"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
