I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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