is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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