i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
