dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
