Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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