She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
