he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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