Its about making memories worth repressing
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
