I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
