I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
