The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
