I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
