Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
