I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
