Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
