idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
