Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
