The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize