I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
