If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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