Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
