so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
