She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My vagina is officially offended.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
