okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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