I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
