chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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