I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
