the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
one might say we're banned from that church
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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