My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
