Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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