In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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