im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
