I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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