he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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