The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize