I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
