did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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