I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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