Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
