Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
