Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
