shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize