hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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