he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
