Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
