WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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