Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
