margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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