hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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