After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
