I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
