SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All I want is dick and wine.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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