I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
