I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
