that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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