HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
