You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
